"The land that had nourished him and had……" — Jack Handey
"The land that had nourished him and had borne him fruit now turned against him and called him a fruit. Man, I hate land like that."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Borne Quotes
This quote is filed under Borne Quotes,
one of 255 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a…
— Marcus Aurelius
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Chinese are wise in comprehending without many words what is inevitable and inescapable and therefore only to be borne.
— Pearl S. Buck
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In the early days of the video game business, everybody played. The question is, what happened? My theory - and…
— Nolan Bushnell
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When you enlisted into the armed forces you swore to support and defend a Constitution that did not yet fully…
— David Petraeus
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What we did with deeming rules were designed - it was designed to keep costs from coming on to the…
— William J. Clinton
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Forced from home, and all its pleasures, afric coast I left forlorn; to increase a stranger's treasures, o the raging…
— William Cowper
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Not, not mine: it's somebody else's wound; I could never have borne it. So take the thing that happened, hide…
— Anna Akhmatova
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Just by being ourselves we are borne toward a destiny far beyond anything we could imagine. It is enough to…
— Deepak Chopra
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The deep meaning of the cross of Christ is that there is no suffering on earth that is not borne…
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
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The brightest ornaments in the crown of the blessed in heaven are the sufferings which they have borne patiently on…
— Alphonsus Liguori
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Suffering, if it is accepted together, borne together, is joy.
— Mother Teresa
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There is no such thing as a special category of science called applied science; there is science and its applications,…
— Louis Pasteur
See all 255 Borne Quotes »