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Goddamn Quotes by Jack Handey
1 Goddamn quote by Jack Handey
More Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 402 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…
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More Goddamn Quotes
Popular Goddamn quotes from across the collection:
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
— George Carlin
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Goddamn it, you'll never get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole! Follow me!
— Unknown Author
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If they turn on their radars we're going to blow up their goddamn SAMs. They know we own their country. We own…
— William R. Looney III
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From time to time there will be some complaints that we are pushing our people too hard. I don't give a good…
— George S. Patton
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an…
— Mitch Hedberg
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Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under any goddamn table you want, so don't worry about me.
— Elizabeth Taylor
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When I say or write something, there are actually a whole lot of different things I am communicating. The propositional content (i.e.,…
— David Foster Wallace
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Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn…
— Jack Kerouac
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