« All From Quotes · Jay Leno's Page
From Quotes by Jay Leno
- Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I was a kid
- If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else.
- Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel…
- Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'
- The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada's Foreign Minister,…
- Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.
- Clinton's pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they've turned Buddy from a Democrat into a Republican.
- Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan?
- The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th.…
- President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?
- In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within. So what is…
- With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for the debates. That's…
- A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise…
- A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from…
- Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time…
- Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of…
- Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had incentive to bomb…
- There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class…
- The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as…
- Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't…
More From Quotes
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- Whenever u get hurt from those people whom u love most don't blame them, fault is not their its your fault that… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Haiti, Haiti, the further I am from you, the less I breathe. Haiti, I love you, and I will love you always.… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- We construct a narrative for ourselves, and that's the thread that we follow from one day to the next. People who disintegrate… — Paul Auster
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Sometimes people who want to understand Haiti from a political perspective may be missing part of the picture. They also need to… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. — Aristotle