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Found Quotes by Jack Handey
- I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because…
- When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a…
- I had dreams once. Once I wanted to build the world's longest suspension bridge. But then I found out someone else had already done it.
- Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.
- When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I…
- One day my friend called and said, "I FOUND JESUS!" and my response was "Great we are going to be rich." But it turned out…
More Found Quotes
- Lao Tsu found Taoism easy to reconcile withthe world of human beings, which is interesting because with all the nature imagery, one… — Frederick Lenz
- I have so much that I want to say to you, but I can't say a word. only you will found out… — Superman
- Over the years my mother's steadfast faith in God has inspired me, particularly when I had to perform extremely difficult surgical procedures… — Benjamin Carson
- There is reason to suspect, that the distinctions of mankind have more show than value, when it is found that all agree… — Samuel Johnson
- I feel like a new person. I learned how to deal with people when I wasn't a football player. I always wondered… — Keith Millard
- Classical music and pop are two different universes, each with its own difficulties, peculiarities, depth and artistic dignity. In Italy, I think… — Andrea Bocelli
- The gratification of wealth is not found in mere possession or in lavish expenditure, but in its wise application. — Miguel de Cervantes
- As for the pyramids, there is nothing to wonder at in them so much as the fact that so many men could… — Henry David Thoreau