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Die Quotes by Jack Handey
- I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
- My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our…
- After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey,…
- When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I…
- When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but…
- I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
More Die Quotes
- A man can die but once. — William Shakespeare
- Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. — Mary Kay Ash
- I know what its like to want to die; how it hurts to smile; how you try to fit in but you… — Superman
- The spirit of Ubuntu, that once led Haiti to emerge as the first independent black nation in 1804, helped Venezuela, Colombia and… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- We must have a theme, a goal, a purpose in our lives. If you don't know where you're aiming, you don't have… — Mary Kay Ash
- I firmly believe that when you die you will enter immediately into another life. They who have gone before us are alive… — Norman Vincent Peale
- You must also remember that the world has God to govern it, and He has not left it to our charity. The… — Swami Vivekananda
- A man may have to die for our country: but no man must, in any exclusive sense, live for his country. He… — C.S. Lewis