Deep Thought Quotes

444 Deep Thought quotes by 83 unique authors

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. — Jack Handey
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his… — Jack Handey
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe… — Jack Handey
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring… — Jack Handey
Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows; but without that noise. — Jack Handey
The old pool shooter has won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did… — Jack Handey
Even though he was and enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he… — Jack Handey
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make… — Jack Handey
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opened wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and… — Jack Handey
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running… — Jack Handey
I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant… — Jack Handey
People don't want quarter-inch drills. They want quarter-inch holes. — Theodore Levitt
Yes, I do feel the world revolves around me. After all, I am the main character of my own life. — Stefanie Schneider
How easy it is to forgive and loose the most violent offender, when in tears, they repent. How difficult it is forgiving our own self,… — Stefanie Schneider
When I was young I would ask everybody what life was about. Now it's clear to me that the image of each existence shows its… — Stefanie Schneider
I always thought death was cruel, a silent destroyer of breath, of hope, of life. Now I understand it is physical death, the perception of… — Stefanie Schneider
It is most often not our strengths, our courage or our successes that bring two human hearts together, but it is often our shared vulnerability,… — Stefanie Schneider
I dropped my juggling balls and my face grew embarrassed. It wasn't until then that I looked around the circus of life and noted all… — Stefanie Schneider
When I was younger I feared the dark, wondering what evil was watching me. Now it's different, for now it's a game of sneaking the… — Stefanie Schneider
If you start embracing life's storms instead of hiding away from them, you'll stop fearing them all together; it is this way one becomes immovable. — Stefanie Schneider
The devil told my mind that my thoughts held no power; and this seemed true until my thoughts I began to speak. — Stefanie Schneider
Let me give you a hint, young ones, what it is you will become as you grow. What things make you cry, what things bring… — Stefanie Schneider
What is truth? Truth is what causes you to breathe again when lies have told you, you are already dead. — Stefanie Schneider
To have a high IQ, you tend to specialize, think deep thoughts. You avoid trivia. — Christopher Langan
The believer speaks little and does a lot, whereas the hypocrite speaks a lot and does little. When the believer speaks, it is with wisdom,… — Abu Nu`aym

Who Wrote These Deep Thought Quotes

83 authors contributed a total of 444 Deep Thought Quotes, led by these top contributors: