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All Quotes by Jay Leno
- In business news, chocolate maker nestle is buying Jenny Craig. Well, that says it all you need to know about the war on obesity, doesn't…
- A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives. On the other…
- When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors.
- I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out…
- President Obama admitted this week that a former girlfriend that he wrote about in his autobiography was made up and not a real person .…
- The price of oil is rising because of all the unrest in the Middle East. And the unrest in Wisconsin is causing the price of…
- Yesterday President Obama said, 'We can't continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.' Oh really - how come all those guys on Wall Street…
- Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count…
- President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in over six months.…
- The White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into last week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best…
- A Democratic congressman said that he worries that the IRS scandal might have a chilling effect on the IRA and that they might be afraid…
- It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day…
- All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.
- Contact with the customer is what business is all about.
- The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.
- The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can find out what makes pig manure smell…
- Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did…
- Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.
- They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put…
More All Quotes
- . . . a basic law: the more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.… — Norman Vincent Peale
- Democracy arises out of the notion that those who are equal in any respect are equal in all respects; because men are… — Aristotle
- Whenever my pocket money fall short. I start to think my life sucks. Then I think about all those out there who… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- I realize my mistake when I lost you in the crowd. I felt the pain n loneliness when I lost you. U… — Anurag Prakash Ray