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Actually Quotes by Dave Barry
- My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to…
- I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to…
- Of course, the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by…
- If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to fill out any…
- One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time…
- SAT tests are designed by huge panels of experts in education and psychology who work for years to design tests in which not one single…
- Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of…
- Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually…
- I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it relieves nasal congestion.…
- The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have…
- At the height of rush hour, people on the London underground actually say "excuse me." Imagine what would happen if you tried an insane stunt…
- If he (The New York Taxi Driver) talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the taxi has some…
- Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years…
- You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists…
- Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
- Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this…
- Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
More Actually Quotes
- Actually I am very glad that people can buy Armani - even if it's a fake. I like the fact that I'm… — Giorgio Armani
- It's actually amazing because you go so far into another side of your brain when you're studying something completely different, and I… — Dido Armstrong
- I fully expected that, by the end of the century, we would have achieved substantially more than we actually did. — Neil Armstrong
- I thought the attractions of being an astronaut were actually, not so much the Moon, but flying in a completely new medium. — Neil Armstrong
- That's a problem. I mean, like any sort of growing startup organization, we are sort of overwhelmed by our growth. And that… — Julian Assange
- I'd never heard of the 'Lord of the Rings', actually. So I went to the bookstore and there it was, three shelves… — Sean Astin
- But, actually, so many of the clerics that I've met, particularly the Church of England clerics, are people of such extraordinary smugness… — Rowan Atkinson
- A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to… — Dave Attell