"My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping……" — Dave Barry
"My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness."
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Dave Barry
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508 Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site.
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…
See all 508 quotes by Dave Barry »
