Condom Quote by Bill Engvall Download Open image “A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.” — Bill Engvall ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.3 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Condom Rubber
You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night,… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
Condoms are just like parents...they are there to protect you, but usually it's more fun when they're not around. — Carlos De'shawn Banks Copy Share Image
You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night,… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
The first thought that goes through my mind, right after I close the bedroom door, and right before I put on a condom is, — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Having sex with a condom is like eating chocolate with the wrap on.” — Ahmed Mostafa Copy Share Image
Here's a condom. I figured since you're acting like a dick you should start to dress like one. — Patience Copy Share Image
Here's a condom. I figured since youre acting like a dick you should dress like one too (: — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Too many kids think condoms are nasty and vulgar, instead of as something that can save your life. — Lisa Lopes Copy Share Image
I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I go 'what is it?' And she goes 'we're going on a shark feeding frenzy!' Okay, wait... we're in a boat looking down in… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
God was havin' himself a good day when he made boobs. He must've stepped back from Eve and said, Yes ma'am! Those'll work. — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
So, did the costume come with a condom, or is that sold separately? — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
But certainly in Uganda, Mozambique and South Africa, people don't really talk about sex and certainly religious leaders - some of them - up… — Emma Thompson Copy Share Image
In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe about it.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Logan, why aren't you wearing protection?" The radio crackled, and then came Logan's voice. "I have 'protection' in my bag," he said. "But as… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
Ranger cradled my face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe the tears from my eyes. "The ceremony is over. Can you make… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Some words have multiple meanings. Scholastic, aware that I'm allergic to preservatives, kindly got someone to translate the phrase "I can only eat food… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
There is a great deal of political pressure to only talk about abstinence, and to deny support for condoms and education on using them.… — Hillary Clinton Copy Share Image
Bracelets with white symbols?” Michael made the question casual; in fact, he bent his head and concentrated on tuning his guitar, not that it… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“Speaking of which, about assuming you had a condom—I just meant that you, with your experience, would be prepared for responsible sex, even if… — Roberta Pearce Copy Share Image
Indeed, religion allows people to imagine that their concerns are moral when they are highly immoral - that is, when pressing these concerns inflicts… — Sam Harris Copy Share Image
I think the Americans fished out the same condom but found it had too many holes in it. — Tariq Ali Copy Share Image
