“I'm not going to hold my breast for another invitiation" - Jenny” — Tara Sivec Animals Copy Share Image
“I’m not going to stand by and watch the woman I’ve always loved slip away again.” — Tara Sivec Slip Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry, what do you want to order?" "A virgin. I want to order a virgin.” — Tara Sivec Virgin Copy Share Image
“Jim, would you rather have your porn name be Hugh G. Rection or Mike Unstinks?” — Tara Sivec Mike Copy Share Image
“Why the hell is he standing there looking so God damned hot that I want to mount his face.” — Tara Sivec Standing Copy Share Image
“Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced… — Tara Sivec Golf ball Copy Share Image
“Yes, and in just a few minutes, a dIck will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and… — Tara Sivec Dick Copy Share Image
“He's been hung up on a one-night-stand he had five years ago with a girl that smelled like Cocoa Puffs.” — Tara Sivec Five years Copy Share Image
“I remember that night fondly. And by fondly, I mean with bitter resentment toward all things alcoholic and with a penis.” — Tara Sivec Fondly Copy Share Image
“I'm going to put corn and hot sauce on your wiener, and then I'll hit you in the face with it. Hit… — Tara Sivec Hot sauce Copy Share Image
“Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God… — Tara Sivec Funny-and-random Copy Share Image
“Aaarrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder." Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk.” — Tara Sivec Chocolate-lovers Copy Share Image
“She moans her approval, so I continue. “Your pussy is so tight, like trying to get a new My Little Pony out… — Tara Sivec Christianity Copy Share Image
“When you were little and you were afraid of the boogey man, getting under the covers meant he couldn't see you or… — Tara Sivec Afraid Copy Share Image
“I suddenly had a vision of my sperm swimming around and talking in Bruce Willis’s voice like in Look Who’s Talking. “Come… — Tara Sivec Dreams Copy Share Image
“I’ve waited long enough. Shelby is the main reason I’m still here, alive and kicking, and it’s time she knows that. It’s… — Tara Sivec Time Copy Share Image
“I think maybe I'll hide behind the couch and jump out when he gets here. Put the fear of George into him,"… — Tara Sivec Fear Copy Share Image
“He picks up one of the tests and pretends like he's Harry Potter, aiming the test at random objects around the small… — Tara Sivec Magic wand Copy Share Image
“You're probably also wondering how in the hell I can possibly be twenty-five years old when just yesterday I was four. I… — Tara Sivec Five years Copy Share Image
“A few seconds of silence lapse, and I knew Carter was waiting for me to mention the huge "I'm pregnant" elephant in… — Tara Sivec Elephant in the room Copy Share Image
“Even though I was drunk as a skunk at the time, I still remembered what happened after that. Less than two seconds… — Tara Sivec Last forever Copy Share Image
“Yeah, you like that? You like it when Big Papa gives you his hot and juicy wiener?” I pant, my hips hammering… — Tara Sivec Dirty talk Copy Share Image
“All my shrinks have told me I need to find a hobby. Something to focus on other than the torture and the… — Tara Sivec Every moment Copy Share Image
“And if something doesn’t fit, if one of your pieces just isn’t working, you can put it aside and find another one.… — Tara Sivec Right now Copy Share Image
“Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was… — Tara Sivec Carter Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, I sent a picture of my boobs to Jim," I moaned as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through… — Tara Sivec Burger king Copy Share Image
“Tyler pulls his shirt down over his head and I pretend like I’m not sad to see his naked abs go. “I… — Tara Sivec Gaze Copy Share Image
“Wow, Carter. You've got a HUGE wiener." Suddenly, Gavin being in the bathroom with me didn’t seem so bad. If only he… — Tara Sivec Huge Wiener Copy Share Image
“No one likes an ugly crier. It's uncomfortable for all parties involved.” — Tara Sivec Ugly Copy Share Image
“Sweet Jesus, she looks like a clown that just woke up after a gang bang.” — Tara Sivec Clown Copy Share Image
“It's okay, my penis is not offended in the least that it just made you throw up” — Tara Sivec Offended Copy Share Image
“Now that I’ve found her again, I have no intention of letting her go.” — Tara Sivec Intention Copy Share Image
“God said "Let there be light" and George morgan flipped the switch.” — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
