All Mark Twain Quotes
- Humor is tragedy plus time. Humor
- There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read… Admiration
- Names are not always what they seem. Funny
- The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny… Anything Funny
- High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water. Everybody
- All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it.… Act
- Life should begin with age and it's privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and it's capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. Accumulation
- Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals. Blind
- Homely truth is unpalatable. Homely
- what is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to… Always Going
- Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live. Bicycle
- All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had… All
- The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable. Bad
- It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive. Any
- when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it; we give it that fine name to comfort… Badly
- It's not as bad as it sounds. Bad
- I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way… Bright
- Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. Cannot Explain
- But it is a blessed provision of nature that at times like these, as soon as a man's mercury has got down to a certain… Along
- Honesty: The best of all the lost arts. All
- The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow. All
- Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds. All
- Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of… Called
- One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a women is, until after considerable acquaintance with her. Acquaintance
- At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to… Bathing