All Mark Twain Quotes
- It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them. Easy
- She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and gentle exterior burned inextinguishable fires of sympathy, energy,… Absolutely
- Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting… Attempting
- A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. Book
- When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I… Astonished
- You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns. Heart
- Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. Chastity
- The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime,… Asked
- I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to… Challenge
- The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. Age
- There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They… Acquired
- We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency,… All
- God created war so that Americans would learn geography. Americans
- Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's… Build
- In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots… Eye
- A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't. Banjo
- A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows. Accepted
- Wagner’s music is better than it sounds. Better
- It was a splendid population - for all the slow, sleepy, sluggish-brained sloths stayed at home - you never find that sort of people among… All
- No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. Communism
- Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. Accident
- Distance lends enchantment to the view. Borrowing
- The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a… Each
- I do not like work even when someone else is doing it. Funny
- How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it. Earned