All Mark Twain Quotes
- Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real… Ah
- Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. Anybody
- Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else. Book
- What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. Amusing
- I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. Adventure
- Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand. Atheism
- A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it. Always Grateful
- Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. Acquiring
- I said nothing of the sort. Funny
- When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends. Astound
- One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was flat. Belief
- Bridgeport?" Said I. "Camelot," Said he. Bridgeport
- Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is… Animal
- The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you… Deal
- Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where… All
- Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty. Haughty
- But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to… Another War
- There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want… All
- Which is him?" The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday. Book
- I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me… Anybody
- Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. Any
- I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people. Atheism
- Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them destroy them? For… Assault
- I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years… Ago
- A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty. Creator