All Mark Twain Quotes
- Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Funny
- Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. Confidence
- I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. Any
- It is easier to stay out than get out. Achievement
- Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. Carpe Diem
- Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. Bring
- It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. Around Neglected
- There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. Coward
- Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. Alcohol
- It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and… Beer
- The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.' Celebrity
- I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. Inspiration
- The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. Inspiration
- What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. Adam
- Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. Both
- Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins. Covers
- Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. Four
- Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. Business
- He is now rising from affluence to poverty. Affluence
- There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. Accomplish
- As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and… Asleep
- Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. Animal
- Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. Best
- A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him,… Always Going
- In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join… Beginning