All Mark Twain Quotes
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Diet
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. All
- All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. All
- The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Best
- The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. All
- A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Adjectives
- It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress. Class
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Clothes
- When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. Anger
- Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Blessing
- Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. Age
- Don't let schooling interfere with your education. Cute
- Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. Action
- It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. Atheism
- You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Business
- We have the best government that money can buy. Best
- Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Age
- It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Bravery
- Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. Holler
- The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Bullying
- When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. Age
- There are lies, damned lies and statistics. Damned
- Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. Barely
- What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is… Acts
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Definitions