All Mark Twain Quotes
- If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat… Best
- If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. America
- When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. Heart
- Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. Assault
- I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Aging
- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. Best
- I've never let my school interfere with my education. Education
- It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Bad Mood
- A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Acceptance
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Day
- Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Death
- It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Favourite
- Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. Certain
- I can live for two months on a good compliment. Attitude
- Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. Conduct
- I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Clever
- Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. Ceased
- Buy land, they're not making it anymore. Anymore
- God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. Board
- In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. Counted
- Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. Any
- Golf is a good walk spoiled. Athlete
- It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. Addiction
- I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. Beer
- Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. Fish