All Mark Twain Quotes
- A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it.… Atlas
- Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. Adam
- Write without pay until somebody offers to pay. Inspirational
- I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it. Exaggeration
- Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. Amazing Life
- All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse. All
- Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words. All
- April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.. April
- Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world… All
- There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner… According
- When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be… Age
- Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to… Amount
- The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told… Aside
- Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity. Breedeth
- To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not… Allen
- Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. Cocky
- Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. God
- Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that. Death
- Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. Alcohol
- There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus. Apparatus
- I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect. All
- The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies. Atheism
- We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the… Animal
- To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing. Believe
- for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity. Business