All Mark Twain Quotes
- He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Ask
- Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time. Any
- It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened. Happened
- Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures; figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures,… Appearance
- The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting… Ahead
- It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky. Die
- In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man Boy
- Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Command
- I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty. Good
- I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit. Atheism
- Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance. Color
- The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it. Children
- The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it Custom
- Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to… Around Behind
- A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it. Animal Rights
- Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and… All
- I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children. Children
- in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. Attain
- Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To save his life… All
- It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is… Ache
- You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you Age
- If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility Compound
- S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think? Inspirational
- Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin. Agin
- The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves… Animal