Best Karl Pilkington Sayings
- If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good Bollocks
- Your dreams should never be better than your real life Better
- To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. Any
- Blind people can stay up longer than someone with eyes. Blind
- I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it. Choose
- My brain's just full of passwords. Brain
- A problem solved is a problem caused. Caused
- We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. Age
- I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried… Age
- You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle. Angry
- Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years. Been
- Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face. Expression
- It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that. Family
- I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off. Called
- With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one. Always Get
- At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf. Funny
- I came up with a good idea....see-through skin. Came
- As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in… Baby
- Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts. Avocados
- We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat… Already Happened
- Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it. Breathe
- I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice. Ate
- What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that. Eye
- I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I… Bills
- It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit. Apart
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