Karl Pilkington Quotes

177 quotes in 1587 categories

• Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder? Build
• Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again... Baby
• The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ Elephant
• Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back. Allowed
• If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it? Animal
• The Web is the new book though, innit? Book
• Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. Computer
• That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog. Animal
• By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it. Bungee
• We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat. Boat
• How would I know which one I was? Funny
• Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine. Brain
• If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing Body
• We're just a weed in the universe Inspirational
• Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage! Inspirational
• What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate? Funny
• It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep Asleep
• At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider? Chat
• It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob. Eating
• People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache,… Animal

Browse Karl Pilkington Quotes by Category