Best Karl Pilkington Lines
- It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that… Annoyed
- It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed. Committed
- People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone… Always Tell
- The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. Atheist
- You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff… Bit
- I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant… Africa
- Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that… Blame
- Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media… All
- I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV… Added
- I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the… Amount
- I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you… Balanced
- I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put… All
- If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much… Argument
- Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was… Abroad
- People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed… Apparently
- The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've… Book
- We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like,… All
- Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. Green
- It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey Been
- The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife. Any
- There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her… Baby
- They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish… All
- [Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. Environmental
- I could eat a knob at night. Eat
- Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen… Always Thought
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