“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner” — Josh Stern Drinking Copy Share Image
“Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window” — Josh Stern Aroused Copy Share Image
“My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull” — Josh Stern Anorexic Copy Share Image
“All great discoveries are made by opening up the changing room door” — Josh Stern Changing Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time” — Josh Stern Exacting revenge Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Accomplish Copy Share Image
“Don't take me under your wing and tell me that scent is duck sauce” — Josh Stern Duck Copy Share Image
“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried” — josh stern Bliss Copy Share Image
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette” — Josh Stern Animal Copy Share Image
“Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living” — Josh Stern Definitely Copy Share Image
“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real… — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen…..Treat me like a queen and off with your head” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, give him some horns and he can be a… — Josh Stern Fish Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth” — Josh Stern Behind Copy Share Image
“If life is a bowl of cherries… do you know how many virgins it took to make that…” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack” — Josh Stern Baggage Copy Share Image
“If my body is a Temple, then The Greeks and Romans ransacked it years ago” — josh stern Body is a temple Copy Share Image
“Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..." ” — Josh Stern Animal Copy Share Image
“I freely admit to enjoying the attentions Women lavish on me- Although it's usually when they're taking my order” — Josh Stern Freely Admit Copy Share Image
“If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the rhetorical question” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“When you enter the Lions Den, it's best not to go empty-handed or you'll probably leave that way” — Josh Stern Lions-den Copy Share Image
“I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses” — Josh Stern Alcoholic Copy Share Image
“An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“I try not to take things lying down, especially rectal thermometers” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: the truly creative and the truly medicated” — Josh Stern Medicated Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Chicks Copy Share Image
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?” — Josh Stern Facing Copy Share Image
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Deer Headlights Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light… for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose” — Josh Stern Checkers Copy Share Image
“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Ever feel like dialing 911 is just simply not enough, and you really need to speak to someone on the Supreme Court...?” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
