“I'd rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head” — Josh Stern Acquaintance Copy Share Image
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die…mine will be wearing a trench coat” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season” — Josh Stern Aging Copy Share Image
“I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing…” — Josh Stern Hate Copy Share Image
“When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door” — Josh Stern Relationship Copy Share Image
“The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak… but it's willing too” — Josh Stern Weak Copy Share Image
“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking… — Josh Stern Eggshells Copy Share Image
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur” — Josh Stern Delusions Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity” — Josh Stern Anyone Copy Share Image
“'Having' Your Cake…a little perverted… 'Eating' it too…a lot perverted!” — Josh Stern Cake Copy Share Image
“If you're going to walk down the aisle together, best to go single file” — Josh Stern Aisle Copy Share Image
“If you live life on your own terms, people will definitely not understand you” — Josh Stern Life Copy Share Image
“I might feel ten feet tall, but I wouldn't touch you with my pole” — Josh Stern Feel Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Behind every great man Copy Share Image
“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac” — Josh Stern Carry Copy Share Image
“Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it” — Josh Stern Climb Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There is truth in wine, but you never see it listed in the ingredients on the label” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady...then stick my foot out” — Josh Stern Chivalry Copy Share Image
“The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1” — josh stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing…as long you're delicious” — Josh Stern Delicious Copy Share Image
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school” — Josh Stern Doomed Copy Share Image
“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control” — josh stern Beaming Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“My greatest fault is trying to stuff the baggage of an impossible situation into the trunk of an elegant solution” — Josh Stern Baggage Copy Share Image
“I've always been a poor sport and a sore loser...any other behavior might encourage a repeat performance” — Josh Stern Behavior Copy Share Image
“To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of” — Josh Stern Become Copy Share Image
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you” — Josh Stern Done Copy Share Image
