“Waiting for something to fall into your lap is a good way to get goosed” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I freely admit to enjoying the attentions Women lavish on me- Although it's usually when they're taking my order” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear” — Josh Stern Blind date Copy Share Image
“When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you” — Josh Stern Done Copy Share Image
“Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of” — Josh Stern Become Copy Share Image
“Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it” — Josh Stern Jump Copy Share Image
“If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the rhetorical question” — Josh Stern Humor Copy Share Image
“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking… — Josh Stern Eggshells Copy Share Image
“Having a life expectancy is just part of being self-entitled” — Josh Stern Expectancy Copy Share Image
“Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth” — Josh Stern Behind Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Absurd Copy Share Image
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die....mine will be wearing a trench coat” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose” — Josh Stern Checkers Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Death Copy Share Image
“Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....?” — Josh Stern Dating Copy Share Image
