All Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
- And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful! Plus, I love… Amazing
- Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself… Activity
- One day I was watching these construction workers go back to work. I was watching them kind of trudging down the street. It was like… Able
- In my world, the wronger something feels, the righter it is, Inspirational
- I love the day date. No wine, no shower. Date
- The Olympics is my favourite sporting event. Although I have a problem with that silver medal. When you think about it, you win the gold… Ahead
- I was the best man at the wedding... If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? Best
- There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself. Completing
- What's the deal with Ovaltine? It comes in a round container, you put it in a round glass, why don't they call it Roundtine? Call
- Kids don't say, "Wait." They say, "Wait up, hey wait up!" Because when you're little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you… Calm
- Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in… Accomplished
- You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When… All
- So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: "What is… Brain
- If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem. Biggest
- Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work. Block
- Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success. Down
- All magic is 'Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.' All
- We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the… All
- The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves. Been
- I have a problem with that silver medal. It's like, 'Congratulation s, you almost won. Of all the losers, you're the number one loser. No… Ahead