All Eddie Izzard Quotes
- But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who… Bad
- Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I… Albert
- This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and… Aboard
- We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're… Britain
- Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed! Brain
- I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them. Coffee
- Cake and tea or death? Cake
- You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop,… Always Put
- I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s… Bloke
- You can't land on the moon and say, "Ooh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam! All
- They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them. Bought
- So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great... He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I suppose so. Everyone
- So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some… All
- So my choice is 'Or Death? Choice
- I'm a one-man idiot. Funny
- [Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea, youre gonna roll over and cut your bits off. Bits
- It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance. And thats why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang… All
- Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you?… Ahhh
- You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym! Down
- I'm covered in bees! Bees
- They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think… Bang