“I'm scared David" "That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of” — David Wong Afraid Copy Share Image
The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind. — David Wong Flew Copy Share Image
“I woke up in my bathroom, startled. I had nodded off while pooping. Long goddamned day.” — David Wong Nodded Pooping Copy Share Image
“John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape” — David Wong Tape Copy Share Image
“You want sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.” — David Wong Sympathy Copy Share Image
“Yep. Thanks for calling us, Drake. You’re the kind of man a man wants when a man wants a man.” — David Wong Drake Copy Share Image
“Fuck all of you," John retorded. "You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.” — David Wong Dick Copy Share Image
“Falconer walked up and said, “I just want to say right now that this is the stupidest shit I’ve ever been involved… — David Wong Falconer Copy Share Image
Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. — David Wong Caring Copy Share Image
“Somebody said my name, asked if I was okay. I didn't answer, the sound of the commotion dying around me as the… — David Wong Rested Copy Share Image
“My resume is worthless—it turns out that managing a now-defunct video store in your twenties while solving monster crimes qualifies you for… — David Wong Resume Copy Share Image
I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger kill a man in a movie by grabbing his head and twisting it until the neck broke.… — David Wong Arnold schwarzenegger Copy Share Image
“Anyhow, Molly died, in the way that all really good things die, fast and brutal and for no apparent reason.” — David Wong Good thing Copy Share Image
“We fixed him just by telling him that he wasn't crazy, that the horrors he was seeing were real. He seemed oddly… — David Wong Comforted Copy Share Image
Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most… — David Wong Bible Copy Share Image
“Sorry, Dave. My grandpa used to tell me, toward the end when he was going crazy, that talking through a dog ain't… — David Wong Dog Copy Share Image
“I took a breath and said, “Look … you remember when we watched Star Wars with Amy? And she’s like, ‘Why is Princess… — David Wong Star wars Copy Share Image
“It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible… — David Wong Death Copy Share Image
It is not simply the individual who benefits from and is protected by rights, but the society as a whole. Protected freedoms… — David Wong Abuse Copy Share Image
“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would… — David Wong Humor Copy Share Image
“One more victim sucked in by John. You get into the room with him and you just fall into a warm pool… — David Wong Dick-jokes Copy Share Image
He whipped the chair around and actually split one of the things in half with the impact, spilling the spray of blood… — David Wong Blood Copy Share Image
“Okay. When he comes, you can see him?" "Yes. I can hear him, too. And he, uh..." She brushed the bandage on… — David Wong Ghosts Copy Share Image
“I remember now. Calling you. It’s hard, everything’s running together. I called and called and called. Like a shotgun, firing in every… — David Wong Running together Copy Share Image
The good of the family cannot be achieved without consideration of an individual's important interests. If those interests are urgent and weighty,… — David Wong Compromise Copy Share Image
My own sense as an American is that we have begun to experience the disadvantages of framing virtually all moral issues in… — David Wong American history Copy Share Image
In fact, our need to feel like big shots keeps us wedded to inadequate perspectives on the world, keeps us from exploring… — David Wong Acknowledge Copy Share Image
At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John… — David Wong Accents Copy Share Image
“We got back to my house to find it ransacked. It was difficult to tell because I’m not the world’s greatest housekeeper… — David Wong Humor Copy Share Image
“The human eye has to be one of the cruelest tricks nature ever pulled. We can see a tiny, cone-shaped area of… — David Wong Carbon dioxide Copy Share Image
If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard? — David Wong Double Copy Share Image
“THE END IS NOT NEAR IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED WE JUST DIDN'T CARE” — David Wong Happened Copy Share Image
All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us… — David Wong Bigs Copy Share Image
“John tipped a finger at him and said, "Yep. Thanks for calling us, Drake. You're the kind of man a man wants… — David Wong Drake Copy Share Image
“John trotted up, carrying his satchel. "Yes. Wexler's gone. We need your car." "What? Why?" John circled around to the passenger-side door… — David Wong Car-chase Copy Share Image
“…the whole world [is]a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you’ll die, and… — David Wong Distract Copy Share Image
![“…the whole world [is]a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you’ll die, and you’ll probably be alone.” quote by David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0f5/david-wong-1098_whole-world_the-whole-world-is-a-big-noisy-puppet-sh_1941745.jpg)