“So, they dig up my address and stick it in the mail. “David Wong will know what to do with it!” No,… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Yep. Thanks for calling us, Drake. You’re the kind of man a man wants when a man wants a man.” — David Wong Gratitude Copy Share Image
“The English language needs a word for that feeling you get when you badly need help, but there is no one who… — David Wong English language Copy Share Image
“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred… — David Wong Be prepared Copy Share Image
“I had a familiar, nervous sensation, one that goes all the way back to elementary school. It's the simultaneous realization that I… — David Wong David-wong Copy Share Image
“It is believed that during the coronation of a new Pharaoh, he would be required to masturbate in front of the crowd,… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“I reached for the knob. At the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape… — David Wong Time Copy Share Image
“I feel stretched out, like too little butter scraped over too much waffle. And then it all falls down into one of… — David Wong Humor Copy Share Image
“I'm scared David" "That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of” — David Wong Fear Copy Share Image
“I said, “This could not be any stupider.” John said, “Dave, you remember the words to ‘Camel Holocaust’?” “Ah, once again, you… — David Wong Prove me wrong Copy Share Image
“Anyhow, Molly died, in the way that all really good things die, fast and brutal and for no apparent reason.” — David Wong Good thing Copy Share Image
“That black pool of shame bubbled up in my head again. Then, a spark came along and set it alight. The choice… — David Wong Anger Copy Share Image
“Everybody was circling around Robert, trying to get to the door while avoiding the infested, oozing mess and-holy shit is this song… — David Wong Song Copy Share Image
“Of all the dogs I’ve known in my life, I’ve never seen a better driver.” — David Wong Dogs Copy Share Image
“Miss," John interrupted. "We have reason to believe your dog was possessed by some kind of Hell demon. Has Molly ever spoken… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“John and I have made this stuff our hobby, in the way that an especially attractive prisoner makes a hobby out of… — David Wong Humorous Copy Share Image
“We simplify tens of millions of individuals down into simplistic stereotypes, so that they hold the space of only one individual in… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Different moralities must share some general features if they are to perform their functions of coordinating beings having particular kinds of motivations.… — David Wong Character Copy Share Image
“I turned, ran, fired the shotgun into the air and shouted, “Bomb! There’s a bomb in the fountain! Everybody run for your… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“If you had to choose, and if you were not allowed to see either ahead of time and had no other information… — David Wong Ahead of time Copy Share Image
“here’s what’s going to happen: you’re going to die and you’re going to stand at the gates of judgment and you’re going… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“ I am not the star of a zombie movie. I am the guy in the background who gets eaten in the… — David Wong Movie Copy Share Image
“She was a hippie. I could tell, even dressed in a red prisoner jumpsuit. She had some haphazard braids in her hair,… — David Wong Copy Share Image
The things we call cultures are dynamic, internally diverse, and their interpretation is internally contested among its members. Cultures are like ongoing… — David Wong Culture Copy Share Image
“You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.” — David Wong Creativity Copy Share Image
