Christopher Moore Quotes

197 quotes in 2671 categories

• Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
• It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit…
• I love you above all things, even pie.
• Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.
• I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
• There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does…
• I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said. "Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed." "How is it like a mustard…
• May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.
• Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
• Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.
• It was watching Madeline Alby eat cheese with every ounce of her being, like it was the first and best time, that made him realize…
• Chapter 8, Dinner With the Vampire: Is there something wrong with your food?" No, I'm just not very hungry." You're going to break my heart,…
• I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, "Honey, Christmas is…
• The Winter Woman is as wild as a blizzard, as fresh as new snow. While some see her as cold, she has a fiery heart…
• You want me and I want you. right?" Who did she think she was? You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a…
• We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said, "Does a dog…
• Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of "Tangled Up in Blue" in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies,…
• Even a mentally challenged shark would figure out that sea turtles did not wear boxer shorts printed in flying piggies, and no sea turtle would…
• What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said…
• Next out of the hall came the sisters and their husbands. Before I could say anything, the captain had clamped his hand over my mouth…

Browse Christopher Moore Quotes by Category