Christopher Moore Quotes

197 quotes in 2671 categories

• Blessed are the dumbfucks.
• She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
• He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
• Don't bruise the Foo!
• Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
• Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
• Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of…
• The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and…
• Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt…
• They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I…
• The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had…
• The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the…
• The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
• If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
• No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.
• ...as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown…
• Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the…
• She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless…
• Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....
• Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

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