Best Bill Hicks Quotations
- That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one. Gonna
- The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas. Cia
- The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both! Belief
- The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally. All
- There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue--those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS--but they remain strangely silent... Control
- To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons. All
- Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television. Absolutely
- We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it. Apiece
- We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years. All
- What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all. Absurdity
- What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis, not the young, cool guy... All
- Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up. Aliens
- You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict. Anyone
- Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me. Acting
- How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're… Ah
- All governments are lying cocksuckers. All
- I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And… Always Wanted
- I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. Believe
- I am available for children's parties, by the way ... Available
- Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks. Chicks
- In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final. Beginning
- I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than… Alone
- I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night. Day
- I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know… Action
- How many of y'all wondered, like I did, during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks and beaten half… All
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