There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
