God could not be with us every time we need support in our worst times of life, and therefore he made fathers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they cant have a headache and sex at the same time? — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
WIFE, Is in trouble with her roles when her husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I earn and pay my own way as a great many women do today. Why should unmarried women be discriminated against -… — Dinah Shore Copy Share Image
It's much simpler to be tortured on camera or to be filmed losing your mind. Whereas a script that has characters who… — Ellen Page Copy Share Image
What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Were you dropped on your headwhen you were younger? Yeah, in a pool of sexy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
Did It Hurt?... When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hitman: The one who kills people for money. Hitwoman: The one who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do I have an option? when asked by the press if she was "running as a woman." — Patricia Schroeder Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is better as a seasoning than as a whole dish by itself. — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear gym teacher, how the hell are you fat? Sincerely, you teach exercise for a living! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
