Witty Quotes · Page 47

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A bargain, and a sensible person understands that someone must get the better of any bargain;

— Nikhil Saluja

There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I…

— Nikhil Saluja

Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girls Search for Love and Shoes.

— Anonymous

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't…

— Woody Allen

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

— Anonymous

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

What is the greatest fear of the dildo farmer? Squatters!

— Nikhil Saluja

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can…

— Groucho Marx

A Girl will fake an orgasm. The woman won't stop until it's real.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.

— Christian Louboutin

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

— George Carlin

My uncle is in a coma - he's living the dream.

— Nikhil Saluja

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.

— Stendhal

The biggest defeat in every department of life is to forget, especially the things that have done you in, and to die…

— Anonymous

My mom still tells me not to talk to strangers. Im 22 mom, I dont talk to strangers, I sleep with them.

— Azgraybebly Joslan

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when either party is good at taking orders

— Nikhil Saluja

Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'd like to start a religion. That's where the money is.

— Anonymous

Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.

— Anonymous

The hardest part of a business, is minding your own.

— Anonymous

You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!!

— Nikhil Saluja

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

— Kin Hubbard