Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling. — Mary Wortley Montagu Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This is how we court girls in America. We grab them and kiss them. And if they don't like it, we do… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
Love is a perky lil elf dancing a merry lil jig and then,suddenly, he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Petulance is not wit, although a few grains of wit may be found in petulance; quartz is not gold, although a few… — Walter Savage Landor Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitter is just a great joke laboratory. You go in there and there are so many witty people that I know any… — Michael Kupperman Copy Share Image
MARRIED LIFE, is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like the face a girl makes, when another girl she hates shows up on her Twitter timeline. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before… — Bernard Manning Copy Share Image
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are loving... when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let love comes to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Um excuse me, girl with 5000 Facebook pictures...we knew what the fuck you looked like in the first 3. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WOMAN, LIBERATED, a female who has sex before marriage and a job after. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you're unlikely to find them witty. — Rosamund Pike Copy Share Image
If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women love sex in the dark because they can't stand to see a man have a good time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“His principles were out of date, but there was a good deal to be said for his prejudices.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing? — James Roday Copy Share Image
Everything is forgivable if you leave after a one night stand, as long as you were good in bed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wedding dresses are white so the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If A Girl Is Silent She Is Feeling Sad If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I scream, you scream, both of us scream because we are being murdered while eating ice cream. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
