Witty Quotes · Page 29

Would you consider a man or a woman to be complicated? Is it that difficult to understand both the sexes? We say…

— Indira Gandhi

I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions.

— Bible

You cant spell families, without lies.

— Superman

A witty statesman said, you might prove anything by figures.

— Thomas Carlyle

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

— Woody Allen

As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling.

— Mary Wortley Montagu

Note to self: Thanks for always being there.

— Nikhil Saluja

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

— Lily Tomlin

“ONLY' having the Gift, people appreciate this madness as Art. Everybody wants to have Art in their lives, but no body wants…

— Hiroko Sakai

Putting makeup on will not make people like you. Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try being pretty on the…

— Anonymous

LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener;

— Nikhil Saluja

I love tanks. She love tank tops.

— Nikhil Saluja

Critchley and Webster’s fierce, witty exploration of Hamlet makes most other writing about Shakespeare seem simpleminded.

— Hari Kunzru

Our way is not soft grass; it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the sun.

— Ruth Westheimer

Brings a knife to a gunfight. Wins.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live…

— Nikhil Saluja

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

— Terry Pratchett

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

— Groucho Marx

What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. That isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination.

— Psyche_Zeroh

Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring.

— Nikhil Saluja

I got a fortune cookie today. It said I should invest in something fun on four wheels. I don't know if that…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.

— Will Rogers

“Childhood friends are continuity, uninterrupted connections between selves, and you hold on them. You hold on them and you love them, but…

— Lynn Messina

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

— Groucho Marx