Witty Quotes · Page 28

She marking them begins a wailing note And sings extemporally a woeful ditty How love makes young men thrall and old men…

— William Shakespeare

HUSBAND, A man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life;

— Nikhil Saluja

Surrealism in painting amounted to little more than the contents of a meagerly stocked dream world: a few witty fantasies, mostly wet…

— Susan Sontag

Um excuse me, girl with 5000 Facebook pictures...we knew what the fuck you looked like in the first 3.

— Anonymous

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

— Emo Philips

[On Italian:] One may almost call it a language that talks of itself, and always seems more witty than its speakers.

— Madame de Stael

Great minds think a like. So I bet you know what I mean

— Rakii Retondo

I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny…

— Ciaran Hinds

When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is…

— Barack Obama

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

— Nikhil Saluja

When everything fails, masturbate.

— Nikhil Saluja

One may be continually abusive without saying any thing just; but one cannot be always laughing at a man without now and…

— Jane Austen

Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it.

— Anonymous

Glenda Adams has written a wicked and witty novel.

— Diane Johnson

There is a statue of limitation.

— Samuel Goldwyn

“No tricks, no tools, but talent makes a task truly top class.”

— Amit Kalantri

Children : The child is God's gift to the family. Each child is created in the special image and likeness of God…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

— Woody Allen

Vagina: tongue tested, boner approved.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't believe any experiment until it is confirmed by theory. I find this is a witty inversion of "conventional" wisdom.

— Arthur Eddington

Yes it's going really well. We are planning on having a baby together.

— Shahrukh Khan

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is achieved when silence between two people is comfortable;

— Nikhil Saluja

Never let your Ladys mind wonder. its too little to be out on its own

— Nikhil Saluja