If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only… — Teri Garr Copy Share Image
It should be perfectly legal to kill people who brag about not owning a TV. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Make sure it is God's trumpet you are blowing- if it is only yours it won't wake the dead, it will simply… — W. Ian Thomas Copy Share Image
They say gay people have gaydar, which lets them figure out who else is gay. Waiters in expensive restaurants have something similar,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To be loved is to be fortunate, to be hated is to have acheived distinction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind… — Lauren Cagliola Green Copy Share Image
I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants — Dave Beard Copy Share Image
To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
“Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked... "Go ahead," Newt replied. Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,'… — James Dashner Copy Share Image
A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Bishop was all done with the witty conversation. 'Will you swear?' And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
After miraculously surviving two heart surgeries, pneumonia and a mild stroke, at 82 my grandfather was no longer able to care for… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“If time is money and you wasted my time, then give me back my money!” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
LOVE, A situation which happens when you think almost as much of another as you do of yourself; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In every civilization, life grows easier. Men grow lazier in consequence. We have a picture of what happened to the individual Greek.… — Edith Hamilton Copy Share Image
“When in a frying pan, thank your stars. You will reminisce about it moments later, when you fall in the fire.” — Prashant Yadav Copy Share Image
Girl's Life Lesson 1: Crying confuses men. They get uncomfortable and will do anything to get it to stop. Take advantage. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.…” quote by Art Buchwald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/72f/art-buchwald-8223_funny_i-worship-the-quicksand-he-richard-nixon_934923.jpg)
