Stop posting non-sense phrases on your status if you dont know the right spilling.. — Rude-dale Copy Share Image
I read the script [of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency] and went, "I haven't read anything this good, in a long time."… — Samuel Barnett Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because we were always told to give our toys to the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If it's a good book, anyone will read it. I'm totally unashamed about still reading things I loved in my childhood. — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons Naughty girls unbutton… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I once prayed to God for a car, but quickly found out he didnt work that way¦so I stole a car and… — Superman Copy Share Image