Witty Quotes · Page 24

Though lust do masque in ne'er so strange disguise she's oft found witty, but is never wise.

— John Webster

13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, Pussies.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never entertain a monkey cause they dont know when to stop..

— Lonniedagreat

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

— Anonymous

My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.

— Groucho Marx

I've got respect with you guys.. But my respect have limitations. So if you hit that limit, expect me to hit your…

— Rakii Retondo

If you ran as much as you run your mouth, you would be in great shape.

— Anonymous

In comedy, the witty style wins out over every mishap of the plot.

— Mason Cooley

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed

— Nikhil Saluja

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

— Woody Allen

Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down…

— Nikhil Saluja

Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

— Nikhil Saluja

Zimbabweans are so smart and witty and able to weave together tons of situations and experiences into terminologies that are just utterly…

— Danai Gurira

If you think you are refined ; you are finished.

— Ashwani Kumar Ojha

Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty.

— Mignon McLaughlin

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

— Nikhil Saluja

I can't believe it's already ummm yeah whatever month of the whatever year this is!

— Nikhil Saluja

I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

— Nikhil Saluja

I once dated a woman who owned a dog. The thing would never shut the fuck up. The dog was cool though.

— Nikhil Saluja

Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

— Victoria Beryl Zelinski

I like a girl who's smart, they have to be able to grasp witty sarcasm.

— Eyedea

writers of novels are so busy being solitary that they haven't time to meet one another. But then, a writer learns nothing…

— Edna Ferber

I think the single biggest thing that money gave me-and obviously I came from a place where I was a single mother…

— J. K. Rowling

Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

— Flannery O'Connor