“Boil your drinking water, and drink the water surrounding you in your bathtub.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want my writing to be as smooth as drinking a glass of water—pool water, with piss in it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went to a fire sale. I brought a bucket of water, and boy did I make a splash.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I offer you a glass of water, and bring back a cup of ice, I’m trying to teach you patience. And… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When certain people can’t figure out why a certain place produces a certain thing, they tend to say, “There must be something… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be the camel of love.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell pepper to people in the salt mines. So while you’re busy selling pepper to the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a water purification device. Place it between a flowing water source and your storage barrel and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As our bodies are mostly made of water, I’d rather be hungry than thirsty. And as love is mostly made up of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t shower because water is the most corrosive element. Ever seen what it does to rock? I want a chiseled body,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water is nearly invisible. So is my love. Drink it in, but don’t choke on it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I need a water/glory mix of 2:1. That’d make me piss like a champion.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
