I know now it's not a big deal what is happening on Twitter and stuff like that, so I deleted the apps. — Lauri Markkanen Copy Share Image
One of my coworkers has an annoying habit, He works! Makes me look bad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I thought Twitter was a joke. I really thought it was a gag. I thought it was like National Lampoon or the… — Walter Becker Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Facebook, I heard Twitter's replacing you. Hell yeah, karma's a bitch! Sincerely, MySpace. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have friends that I have made through Twitter or things like that, but they're all verified as real people - I've… — Katie Featherston Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She didn't tweet those song lyrics for no reason. There's always a reason — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Behind every meaningful and touching tweet there's someone dying inside. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People who use the phrase I'm not here to judge are the most judgmental people you'll ever meet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed.” — Andy Zaltzman Copy Share Image
