There are so many things on Twitter, so many mentions, it's hard to get through all of them. — Jake Arrieta Copy Share Image
“One comforting thing about the Trump White House is that you aren't forced to choose between malice and incompetence.” — Garry Kasparov Copy Share Image
Twitter is currently the only social network your parents haven't ruined. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for 4 — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's so many Twitter conspiracy theories. I only look at alien-conspiracy theories. — Olivia Rodrigo Copy Share Image
My Friend dumped his GF last night. To make her feel better, I gave her company in her shower today & BITCH… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With the advent of Twitter and Facebook and other social networking sites, genuine privacy can only be found by renting a private… — Robert Powell Copy Share Image
You know what would be fun? To have a set of twins, name them Dumbo and Goofy and then just sit back… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I get a kick out of replying to people on Twitter sometimes if I make a joke. — Scott Rogowsky Copy Share Image
Every successful business, even Google, Facebook, Twitter, started with a combination of manual improvements and friends of the founders using the site. — James Altucher Copy Share Image
Thanks to social media such as Facebook and Twitter, a far wider range of people take part in gathering, filtering and distributing… — Lionel Barber Copy Share Image
For all its deranging effects, I am always grateful to Twitter for the interesting ideas it surfaces. — Ross Douthat Copy Share Image
Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Scary discovery of the day: Most people who RT @yokoono's tweets do so without irony.” — James Taranto Copy Share Image
A relationship without trust and commitment is like pushing a door that says PULL. It just won't work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Didnt! (SMACK!) I! (SMACK!) TELL! (SMACK!) YOU! (SMACK!) TO! (SMACK!) Shut Up! (SMACK!) Move Yo Damn Hand (SMACK!) (SMACK!) Lol — Deon Crockett Jr Copy Share Image
