Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman's chair. Folks those are some huge… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
So what? A lobbyist cheated Indian tribes out of $25 million then laundered their money through phony Christian charities trying to stop… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
