Let's have a moment of silence for Bill Gates. Without him we'd still have to leave the house and interact with people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a guy stares at you for long periods of time, he wishes you were his. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think how miserable your sex life has to be to find the time to leave a comment on a porn video. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time someone talks to me today I just start yawning, because fuck what they have to say. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you haven't checked the time in your watch for like 4 or 5 hours, you're probably having a good time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I walked away doesn't mean you won. It simply means your dumb ass wasn't worth another second of my time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't take it personally if you unfollow me. Just make sure you never check into foursquare in the future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't hold onto the past and make it a burden that you must live with in the future. Move on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you had sex 365 times in 12 months and melted down the rubbers to make a tire, what would you have??… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time I fart, I feel like my asshole is talking shit behind my back. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That sad moment when you dip your Oreo into the milk for too long and it breaks off. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Chess is the only game in the world, which reflects the status of the husband. the poor king can take only one… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you break your friends towel rack trying to wipe shit off of your finger. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you can't say goodbye to your past, then you just can't say hello to your future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Taking a long time to shower, just cause you like to stand there, under the warm water, doing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time I flush the toilet, I literally see my shit spiraling out of control. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life would be perfect if: Some girls had mute buttons,Some guys had edit buttons,Hard times had fast forward & Good times had… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you know if you say Fuck Me 3 times in the window at 1 am your wife will tell you to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm such a bad friend when it comes to communication like if you don't try to contact me you won't hear from… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
