I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
America was founded by puritans and like it or not the anti-pleasure dogma of those buckled-shoed killjoys still pervades our collective unconscious… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Hey Deion, Bubbelah - maybe you'd better pay a little less attention to those unfairly Draconian salary caps that only allowed you… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
