I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey Copy Share Image
It's raining outside. I should go update and alert all my friends on Facebook who don't own a window. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much; what I got by going to… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If I ever wanted to commit suicide, I'd definitely jump from your ego level to your IQ level — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I'm sarcastic and facetious. It's hard to find those people on the first encounter. I can be nice, but I don't want… — Bertsche Copy Share Image
“What you are is an inteligent, sassy, sarcastic, cynical, neurotic, loyal, compassionate girl. That's what you are, OK? You're not a slut… — Kody Keplinger Copy Share Image
Should we do this now?" Pam gave an almost inaudible snort. She was smiling in the glow of the streetlight, suddenly exhilarated.… — Charlaine Harris Copy Share Image
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs,… — Humaira Copy Share Image
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I… — Ash Sweeney Copy Share Image
Dad made me laugh a lot. He was a real comedian. He had a real sarcastic sense of humour, he could really… — Julian Lennon Copy Share Image
EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God,… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
If your dick was as big as your mouth I might would have been impressed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How come we call walkie talkies walkie talkies, but we don't call vacuums pushie suckies? Just sayin... — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. — William Faulkner Copy Share Image
The more and more I'm around people the more and more I realize my sarcastic no patience having ass does not need… — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
If you plugged your nose and your mouth while you sneezed, would it come out of your ears or would your head… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being sarcastic to dumb people because they can't tell if you're being honest. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. — Helen Rowland Copy Share Image
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
No Calls ? I Understand , No Texts ? I Understand ; but When I'm With Someone Else , You Should Understand Too. — Syoung Copy Share Image
“We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon” — Eleni Papanou Copy Share Image
I like Australia, but every time I'm there, I feel like everybody's being sarcastic because everyone's so nice. — Banks Copy Share Image
Yeah, I definitely tend towards dry, sarcastic British humor. I actually aspire to be British - I'm pasty white as well. — Daryl Morey Copy Share Image
Do not fear being sarcastic because at worst the smart ones will get annoyed and the dumb will take it as a… — Juju Copy Share Image
The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest. — Clifton Fadiman Copy Share Image
People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like messed up people, and I try to associate with them as much as I possibly can. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning? — Franz Grillparzer Copy Share Image
The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness. — Paul Theroux Copy Share Image
It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. — Mae West Copy Share Image
You are so pure in mind and heart, In aspect, too, so mild, I wonder that you ever could Implant your wife… — Martial Copy Share Image
Apparently my teachers are having a contest to see who could give out the most homework. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
