Sarcastic Quotes · Page 23

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer.

— John Ruskin

“Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.”

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Watching the fireworks alone is so romantic, I just wanna make out with myself...

— Anonymous

You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.

— Anonymous

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food, and few things in the world are more wearying than a sarcastic attitude…

— Agnes Repplier

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

— Bob Odenkirk

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

— Benjamin Disraeli

I want to write I miss you at the brick, and throw it to you. Cause I want you to know how…

— Anonymous

“No need to be sarcastic, Codex. I think that's sincere, actually. Wow.”

— Cassandra Clare

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

— Margaret Halsey

I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they're like hey what are you doing here? and I'm just like…

— Anonymous

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

— Rowan Atkinson

I think whoever started the 'Good morning' thing was just being sarcastic.

— Anonymous

Americans will put up with anything, provided that It doesn't block traffic

— Toni Watson

Shout out to the dudes trying get laid via Facebook picture comments, you keep working on that grind, your time will come...

— Anonymous

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

— Natasha Leggero

Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.

— George Eliot

When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

— Anonymous

I'm not always sarcastic...there's a lot of times where I mean every bit of what I say .!

— Ritu Ghatourey

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

— Lawrence G. Lovasik

I suppose there are a lot of reasons to be jaded or sarcastic or bitter in life, but I hang on to…

— Kelli O'Hara

“Oh, don't mind me," came an extremely sarcastic voice near the wall. “You two go ahead and make out–I'll just sit here…

— Julie Kagawa

Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.

— Ritu Ghatourey

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

— Oscar Wilde

I'm sarcastic, skeptical, and sometimes callous because I'm still afraid, deep down, of letting myself be hurt.

— Sylvia Plath

In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians…

— Mark Twain

I'm muti-talented. Why? Cuz' I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

— Michiiko

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

— Allan Sloan

Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy.

— Bryant H. McGill

“If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.”

— Meghan Apriceno

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

— Ashley Benson

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

— Anonymous

People often think I'm a faker, but I'm usually honest, in a certain way--in such a way that often nobody believes me!

— Richard P. Feynman

I write all the time. Some of them are very personalized things. Some of them are sarcastic looks at life.

— Bill Ward

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.

— Eugene Field

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to…

— James Boswell

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

— Oscar Wilde

Men never do anything right. And if they do something right, they'll never do it again.

— Anonymous

Now then, you dogs, whom the apostle puts outside and who yelp at the God of truth, let us come to your…

— Tertullian

Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

— George Bernard Shaw