Sarcastic Quotes · Page 15

If you don't want a sarcastic question? Then don't make a stupid one!

— Cecilia Escalante

All I can say is, forgive me for I know exactly what I do.

— Nicole Hill

Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them.

— Anonymous

I'm a sarcastic, observational storyteller.

— Tom Segura

“I really do mean to offend you, you know.”

— Kaycee Browning

No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

— Mae West

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

— Noel Coward

Most of the world's work is done by people who don't feel very well.

— Winston Churchill

I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it & then use…

— Hussein Nishah

The lyrics were my sarcastic way of realizing you can't be the king of the hill all the time.

— Hayley Williams

Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...

— Anonymous

You know, you have to be an optimist, a pessimist, sarcastic and pleasant all at the same time to be a photographer.

— Rondal Partridge

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies

— John Cleese

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid…

— Mae West

I'm the walkingest girl around. I like to work at it - really get my heart pounding.

— Amy Yasbeck

“There you are," Cardan says as I take my place beside him. "How has the night been going for you? Mine has…

— Holly Black

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

— Jean Baudrillard

“Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill…

— Molly Harper

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not…

— Douglas Adams

The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I am not deadpan all the time, but that is a part of my personality. I was always the sarcastic one at…

— Amelia Dimoldenberg

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he…

— George Carlin

My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They…

— Paula Danziger

Would you like some sun? Cause you're shady as f*ck!

— Anonymous

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

— Kurt Vonnegut

Finding a cure for anorexia should be a piece of cake.

— Charles Elba

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

— Kin Hubbard

I'm excellent at three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm.

— Anonymous

Half a dozen: because saying '6' is way too long...

— Anonymous

Excuse me, miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there.

— Anonymous

Aw, now look at that, you're being sarcastic, aren't you?

— Alyson Noel

Shit I hate when skinny people complain how fat they are.

— Anonymous

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

— Robin Williams

I hate it when skinny people say they ain't skinny enough.

— Anonymous

People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

— George Carlin

He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.

— John Wilmot

He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.

— George C. Scott

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.

— Jonathan Swift