The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.' — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People who don't like you almost never come up to you. That's a lot of years of saying things that I know… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Even when [Federal Reserve Chairman Ben] Bernanke said the recession was over ... you think that would have been a bigger boom… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Last week John McCain said the fundamentals of our economy are strong. This week, he said it's the worst crisis since World… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good...… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
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