Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful, and relentless. I… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The president, apparently, was so totally unaware of where his foreign policy was that he had to appoint a distinguished commission to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
